Like most writers, it so happens to me more than often that I wonder about which idea or topic I must choose to write about today. Also, my posts must be relatable and I must try not make an open diary if it – my biggest concern, as a matter of fact, and it is possibly getting difficult since I have not blogged my concerns, tastes and poems out post December 2014. Priorities, to be honest. Also, lately I have also been talking to people more than blogging or writing about my thoughts and that certainly is an achievement, given my standards of actually speaking up for anything, in all rationality (p.s inclusive of my own opinions which I strictly rant among friends and Facebook). As I write this, I have just decided to sum up and write upon something that has happened in the capital of my country in my next post. For now, let me rant about reactions and reality.
Super broad, subjective concept of an emotion which practically is the essence of most relationships we humans share – love. And romantically speaking, I have always saved it to describe myself as a lovesick human. I love my close friends, family just as most of people do and I would always want to protect them and aid my parents financially whenever I can, given they have got through so much on financial insecurity whilst my older sister and I growing up. These are some basic normative ‘responsibilities’ of sorts we tend to feel towards our family and friends. But –
One fine day, Mother puts your favourite denim jeans to wash which you decided to wear to college next day – “What is wrong with you?! I was going to wear those jeans today! You could have asked me first!” And when you wake up on a holiday and see your older sister accessorize as she leaves for her office, you are shocked out of your wits. Pupils dilate. “Are you kidding me?! Why are you wearing my top?!”
The aforementioned examples star me. I star in the aforementioned examples. Are these not the same people I love? Sure, I love them so much that I cannot even put down into words. But again, there are other examples and people –
◆ Cute crush in college, “I love your short hair.” Winks.
◆ Cute crush outside college with other friends around, “Hey.” Smiles and turns away.
I smile a seemingly meaningless smile; the sweet, short haired girl thinks, “Haha gosh, that was adorable. He just doesn’t want to make it public. Nice, decent guy.” And I am rationally, and with the power of my genius intelligence (here, identifies with molten lava), aware of how that man did not give a flying saucer. Life. Very, very relatable is it not? To the teenagers of my gender, yes.
And then that friend we adore the most. My girlfriend. My BFF. My secret keeper. So many nicknames, days of fun and memories. She is so special to me and we are never ever getting away from each other – until I see her behaving (just as she does with me) with another good friend. Volcanic eruptions. Fire. BWAHAHAHA. The evil laughs at my life. Come short haired cute girl, “Aww. She is such a sweetie. She always loves making people not feel miserable about themselves and she makes people happy. This is precisely what I love about her. She cares for others.” Add the same gawky cute crush smile at the end. Now enter the mind of this genius – “What in the world is she trying to do?! Have I lost all of my charm that she has to go get close to another girl and behave all BFF with her? Jeez, I have no friends! “
Angry, helpless and depressed, precisely how I reacted and failed to realise that I must start being myself in all reality.
The aforementioned examples and the reactions may be (probably are?) childlike, immature and typically girly; frame them as you may. But that is precisely how I reacted earlier and most of us girls do. Think I am composing a completely pointless post, yet I am brave enough to come out and talk about the potential past (stupid) bitch in me. See? Smooth as silk.
Although I have practically made this a ‘girl post’, yet what I say next is open to all genders.
◇ Why does it so happen that we often fail to realise that we always do not have to disregard people whom we love the most, only and only because we can ‘say anything to them because we love them’?
◇ Why does it so happen even more often that we measure our own worth on the basis of the reactions that others give to our approach directed to them?
◇ And why does it so happen that every time we see a close friend being close to another friend/acquaintance/nobody and feel sad about it? Is that not the person you love? Must you not be happy at the prospect of your friend being happy?
These things may seem tiny at first mention, but when you think about it, they actually contribute a lot to our attitudes. It is essential to establish and practice an attitude that makes you happy and does not let negativity come in. Do not let another person, nor their reactions define you; you define yourself and you choose your reality.
As a conclusion, on a personal note, I would like to acknowledge the fact that the reason I am an extremely proud person today, all at almost 20 years, is because I have come over and got out of such negative attitudes and situations. Go on and flush the unwanted stuff off thy mind, sweet unicorn. And when you do so, you will be marveled at the measure of sanity you will thereafter possess.
Remember, it does not matter where you come from – there is always a better version of you; all you have to do is carve it yourself. And it is really simple.
Shine On ★